Lines

It felt good to blog the other day... and a friend of mine then texted me, saying she was relieved to see me pop up on google reader - she had been concerned I was stuck underneath a pile of bridal mags.

Fear not, Em!  I am here!

I love a good cheesy pickup line.  Not because it works (well, sometimes it does). But because its better than some of the more skeevy lines I've gotten in the past.  Being innocent looking and somewhat cute can really bring out the sketchballs.

I've always been a fan of this one:

How much does a polar bear weigh?

(I don't know, how much?)

Enough to break the ice!  I'm Tom.

Yes, that was used on me.  And it worked.  But I got dinner and drinks out of the deal, so there you go.

See, any dude can go with the "Hey baby," "Hey mama," and the like.  It takes a real brain to use a memorable line.

"Hey, do you think those girls are Eastern European or something?"

(That also worked.  B's bud JT used it the night I met B.  Win!)

You know what doesn't work, men?  Whistling.  Obvious ogling.  Inappropriate comments.

Hint - if you wouldn't want someone saying that to your mom, sister, or girlfriend, don't say it to a random stranger.

But every so often, the simple "Good mornings," go a long way.  No, I may not stop to chat, but the simple greeting will go a long way.

On my old walk to the gym, one of the men who swept the sidewalk every morning always sang and greeted everyone who walked past.  He was my fave, with his loud "Good morning, beautiful!"

Which was much nicer and made me feel much more secure about myself than the dude who asked if he could have my number at 6:30 AM.  Seriously, dude??  At least wait until you're ordering a drink next to me at a bar, and make a little chit chat first.  And I still won't give you my number.  See the ring on my left fourth finger?  I'm taken.

Ok.  Pseudo-rant done.  Hope it was enjoyable!

I can haz fame?

I know, I have been rahther MIA lately, friends.  I blame busy-ness.  Between moving, amping up the wedding planning (weee!) and having buddies in town (yay!), September has been a complete blur.

So, to get back into blogging, what better way than to cover another blog?

My dear buddy AT, author of La Cucina Francesca, recently posted about a dish I made.  She does a lovely cooking blog (and wowed us all on July 4th with an America Cake).

The Blog

The FI often questions my cooking abilities, mainly because I rarely use them.  Now that we have a larger kitchen, I may start (he suggested I try to cook once a week.  Not looking likely this week due to short-staffedness at the shop, but perhaps next time).  Anyway, my favorite part is the photo of me, unseeding a poblano pepper.  Wearing my sunglasses.  Indoors.

You see, dear friends, it has been a while since I chopped an onion.  B chops them all the time, but apparently I am too far away for them to have any effect.  Not so when I chop them - my eyes burned like a mofo.  I kept squinting and closing them and battling it out with the onion until I had a genius thought:

Sunglasses.

Threw on the sunnies and voila, burning sensation gone (or at least much milder than before).  I totes recommend sunglasses for cooking eye protection when you're in a bind and tearing up.

And now I am on AT's blog and famous in my own right.  Yay!

NBD

Irene: NBD

 

Well, at least not in our neighborhood.  I did see the pictures of downed trees and floods in the surrounding areas, but we were fortunately unharmed.  Even managed to have an ironic Irene photo shoot on our venture for caffeine this morning (because I am miserable ball of headache without it.)  The poor folks at Dunkin Donuts, CVS and Whole Foods had to make it to work without the assistance of public transportation.

 

But I digress.

You know what else is NBD?  Students.  Yes, they are back, with a vengance, and you can pick the newbs out from a mile away:

- Carrying a single key and ID holder with BU/Northeastern/Harvard colors on a fresh new school lanyard

- Carrying an 8/5 x 11 brand new orientation folder

- Trying to pay for the bus with a $20 bill and expecting change

- U-hauls lining the streets (not just students, but we must all adhere to their schedules when renting new apartments)

- Girls traveling in packs of 8+ on their way to a party.  Here's a hint ladies, you won't get in with your entire floor in tow.

- The panic mass exodus 5 seconds before the T doors close when the aforementioned group realizes almost too late they need to exit the T

- Sept 1: People driving furniture in pickup trucks.  Not moving, mind you.  Finding items thrown out and re-using them.  Not a bad idea, until they "accidentally" (on purpose?) steal a chair outside your new building

- Young 20somethings doing their entire food grocery shopping trip at CVS, right in front of you and your shampoo and conditioner.  Really dude?  You eat that much ramen and still maintain the 6 pack showing through your Ed Hardy tee?

- At least one U-haul becoming stuck under a too-low underpass on Storrow Drive

Glad everyone managed to stay safe.  Don't forget to re-batten your hatches on Sept. 1!

Seriously???

Ok, far be it from me to judge the nuptials of others.  I'd totes go deaf to defend my gay friends' right to be wed.

But these two wedding themes take the cake in the "Most Politically Incorrect" category.

1. Depression-Era Hobo Wedding!

I get it.  You love the vintage feel of the 1930s.  You love the 'pull yourself up by the bootstraps and have a good time' ideals of those years gone by.  And in the current economic era, it does stand to reason that we all watch our spending a bit.

That being said, I think its a little insensitive to our grandparents and great-grandparents who actually lived through the Depression, and knew people who had to beg from door to door in order to feed families, who told stories of friends of friends who served wanderers ketchup and hot water for free and turned their back while the wanderer made tomato soup.

My co-worker asked me to please not  have this as my wedding reception theme.  That I can do.  After reacting, I said something like, "I think the only way to be less PC is to have a slavery-themed wedding."

Wish granted, apparently.

2. "Colonial-themed wedding" aka WHAT were they thinking?

Again, the fashion of the era looked beautiful.  I think the level of detail this bride and groom sought, with colonial-themed photo ops, travel trunks, and binoculars was awesome.

Then you take a look at the staff.  And the guests.  Every single guest was white.  Every single staff member was African.  And this was done completely on purpose.  And the wedding was in (wait for it folks) South Africa!  A nation with a rich history of racism and discrimination.  I'm still reeling from this one.

The original blog post was taken down (presumably because the bride and groom received an overwhelming number of negative comments.)

Again, I would not begrudge a bride her dream wedding, but when you involve a parody of poverty or racism, things start to get dicey.  Just sayin.

Nods

Hello, friends.

I know, I have been absent for a few weeks... 3 straight of 10+ hour workdays, and working weekends doesn't exactly make a girl want to sit down and blog.  (In fact, it makes a girl want to flop down in front of the TV and do absolutely nothing.)

Speaking of television, the Emmy nominations came out today.  I'm a sucker for the award shows and the Emmys are no exception.  I sometimes wish that I was invited to fancy pants award ceremonies, or at least that my office had its own version of the Dundees.

While I think that most of the shows nominated are exceptional (mostly because I enjoy many of them), there were a few notable absences that I cannot help but talk about.

1. Walking Dead

A TV show about a zombie epidemic, Clare?  Really?  You ask.

Yes.  A TV show about a zombie epidemic.

You see friends, B is a zombie-holic.  I'm telling you, if the world were to ever actually have a zombie epidemic, B and I would be in prime condition to survive... or at least, B would be, and he would clearly protect me from the zombies.

Walking Dead isn't just about Zombies.  Its about love, marriage, cheating, drama, family... you name it.  Most of all, its about survival and fighting against all odds.  Its the perfect show for a male/female couple to agree on, because it has drama for the ladies and zombies for the men.  The acting is exceptional, most notably Andrew Lincoln as Rick Grimes (ladies, you will remember Andrew as the uber-cute man secretly in love with his BFF's new wife in Love Actually.  Seriously, what's not to like?)

Walking Dead received a Golden Globe nomination, which made me hope it would get the same in the Emmy race.  Too bad, but hopefully it got enough of a cult following after last season that we will keep getting renewals from AMC.

2. Community

This lovable gang of misfits literally keeps me in stitches during each episode of Community.  It opens NBC's Thursday night lineup and does a fantastic job.  I often try to avoid making plans on Thursday nights because I am that obsessed with the lineup.  Other shows I can watch the DVR'ed episodes after the fact, but Community, The Office, Parks and Recreation, and 30 Rock are a must watch as they appear on TV.

I absolutely adore Joel McHale.  His dry sarcasm is perfection in every way imaginable.  Add him to Danny Pudi as Abed and alone they would be a wonderful duo, but add the rest of the cast and you have comedic gold.  Why Community had zero nominations is beyond me.  Modern Family received several nominations for supporting actors... Why not Community?

3. Breaking Bad

I was rather upset with this until someone on an EW board pointed out that there was no season of this show within the Emmy nomination timeline for 2011... so I'm letting it slide for now.

I literally JUST started watching Breaking Bad in anticipation of its newest season (B DVR'ed the older episodes) and as I told him, its almost as addictive as the crystal meth Walter cooks on a weekly basis.

4. The Housewives Franchises

 I'm only half kidding.

   

I will still watch the Emmy Awards.  I will still glue myself to the TV for Red Carpet and onwards.  But I will begrudge the judges the overlooked series.

Crazytrain

I haven't been able to post in a while, 10 hour + work days does not an energetic blogger make.

I just wanted to say hello, and wax poetic about the Florence and the Machine show last night at the B of A pavillion.

In-effing-credible.

That woman knows how to sing.  I swear she has to train physically as well as vocally.  Likely both at the same time, considering the rapid speed with which she ran across the stage belting her lungs out.

Obvi the songs I knew best were my faves.  During Cosmic Love a sheet of twinkly star-lights shone from stage.  And the crowd went literally crazytrain when she belted out Dog Days are Over.  We all had a sing-a-long.

Florence knows how to engage the crowd too.  Several times she mentioned having never played in front of such a huge group before, and made Friends references while talking about the massive lobster she ate earlier that day.

We laughed.  We cried.  We sang our lil hearts out.

I don't think any of the major media outlets have reviewed it yet, but trust me, friends, if you have a chance to see her live, take it and run with it.

City Noises

B and I are planning a move when our lease is up in the fall.  I like our apartment, I love its location close to everything in the city.  One major drawback of our apartment is also its location... on one of the busiest streets in the city.  This street runs through at least three cities (if not more), and connects to a major highway and crosses under a major hospital.

We were talking on our respective cell phones today, B at the apartment and me walking down our street, a good four blocks away.  I heard VERY loud sirens on his end, and faint sirens on mine.  Sure enough, down came the motorcycled police officers who stopped traffic to leg eight full tour buses drive by.

Someone please explain that to me.

Not so great for maintaining a quiet apartment.

We often joke that in order to sleep in our next apartment, we will need to make a CD (like Whale Sounds or Ocean Breezes or Enya) that will lull us to sleep, but with city sounds.  Here are some of the sounds we will need:

Sirens

Horns

Fire truck/ambulance horns (we all know these are much more abrasive than car horns)

Car alarms

Cars

Loud rap music

Loud hard rock

Loud any other type of music, especially if blasted after midnight

Large truck hitting a curb or pothole

Bus (and bus kneeling noise)

Bottle/can collectors with clinking glass going through our garbage

Drunk people

Drunk people having half hour conversations trying to convince other drunk people to go home with them

Truck drivers arguing with each other

Squeaky breaks

Thumpy the upstairs neighbor

Opera singer who only practices at 7 AM on weekends

Vomiting sounds

Loud cell phone talkers

The man who walks down the street singing to his parrot (perched on  his shoulder - true story)